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Coaching services for clarity, stress relief,

contentment, resilience & achievement

effectivethoughts@gmail.com

+44 7884 176539

Check out these quick video tips covering rumination, mindfulness and overcoming nerves.

My Video Tips:
Effective Thoughts for Every Day

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Healing from Trauma Through Somatic EMDR with Cara Hooper | Episode 11

Healing from Trauma Through Somatic EMDR with Cara Hooper | Episode 11

57:35

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How to overcome the nerves to try something with confidence

How to overcome the nerves to try something with confidence

02:12

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Break the rumination habit

Break the rumination habit

02:01

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When we lapse in conscious attention, our automatic responses and programming can take over.

We might say 'yes' when we mean 'no'. Maybe we feel overloaded then put extra pressure on ourself. We could feel shame because someone else is projecting their stress onto us.

* Conscious attention reminds us that we always have the power to check in and choose our response. Again and again.*

Choosing authenticity over programming is a repetitive, necessary task.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#dailypractise
#Goodhabits
#consciousness
#noticing
#personalpower

When we lapse in conscious attention, our automatic responses and programming can take over.

We might say 'yes' when we mean 'no'. Maybe we feel overloaded then put extra pressure on ourself. We could feel shame because someone else is projecting their stress onto us.

* Conscious attention reminds us that we always have the power to check in and choose our response. Again and again.*

Choosing authenticity over programming is a repetitive, necessary task.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#dailypractise
#Goodhabits
#consciousness
#noticing
#personalpower

"I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." - Rita Mae Brown

Reflection question - Is 'dishonest harmony', where we betray our true self for the sake of others' comfort, really worth it?

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#pausetoponder
#connection
#dishonestharmony
#programming
#obligations

"I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." - Rita Mae Brown

Reflection question - Is 'dishonest harmony', where we betray our true self for the sake of others' comfort, really worth it?

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#pausetoponder
#connection
#dishonestharmony
#programming
#obligations

What exactly is it I do? It's a layered answer..

I coach people towards reaching their full potential, overcoming their programmed responses, and gaining a sense of peace. This often includes exploring purpose, finding clarity, gaining insight, reducing overwhelm & triggers, navigating change, boosting focus, finding balance, relationship building and becoming authentic.

I use many coaching modalities (1:1, teams & groups)

> Cognitive Mindset
> Non-cognitive Somatic (combined with EMDR)

I have written a book on healing from a narcissistic parent, created and delivered training, been an expert speaker, recorded podcasts, and lots of videos.
I am highly experienced, direct, empathetic, trauma informed, and supportive.

Ethical, highly trained, and a fellow member of my professional associations.

How to connect:
> message, comment, browse my website, check out the FAQs or book a free consultation.
www.effectivethoughts.co.uk

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#smallbusiness
#services
#summary

What exactly is it I do? It's a layered answer..

I coach people towards reaching their full potential, overcoming their programmed responses, and gaining a sense of peace. This often includes exploring purpose, finding clarity, gaining insight, reducing overwhelm & triggers, navigating change, boosting focus, finding balance, relationship building and becoming authentic.

I use many coaching modalities (1:1, teams & groups)

> Cognitive Mindset
> Non-cognitive Somatic (combined with EMDR)

I have written a book on healing from a narcissistic parent, created and delivered training, been an expert speaker, recorded podcasts, and lots of videos.
I am highly experienced, direct, empathetic, trauma informed, and supportive.

Ethical, highly trained, and a fellow member of my professional associations.

How to connect:
> message, comment, browse my website, check out the FAQs or book a free consultation.
www.effectivethoughts.co.uk

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#smallbusiness
#services
#summary

It's an inconvenient truth I frequently talk about...
Nervous system regulation or self care strategies need to be as well as, not instead of, authenticity and boundaries.

We cannot regulate or self care our way out of a toxic situation.

To expect ourselves to 'just deal' with an issue we are avoiding is a dismissal of our feelings. AKA denial/by-passing/masking the issue.

Yes regulation, self care and stress management can really help. In the short term. But our nervous system knows when we keep returning to that which is toxic for us. This could be work, a relationship, or any situation where we are denying our boundaries, self compassion or core values.

It is hard facing up to the truth and removing ourselves or creating change. But remaining in a toxic situation is harder.

If this is you, you may need support to find the truth and address the issue.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#executivecoaching
#boundaries
#regulation
#distraction
#uncomfortabletruth
#feelbetterlivebetter

It's an inconvenient truth I frequently talk about...
Nervous system regulation or self care strategies need to be as well as, not instead of, authenticity and boundaries.

We cannot regulate or self care our way out of a toxic situation.

To expect ourselves to 'just deal' with an issue we are avoiding is a dismissal of our feelings. AKA denial/by-passing/masking the issue.

Yes regulation, self care and stress management can really help. In the short term. But our nervous system knows when we keep returning to that which is toxic for us. This could be work, a relationship, or any situation where we are denying our boundaries, self compassion or core values.

It is hard facing up to the truth and removing ourselves or creating change. But remaining in a toxic situation is harder.

If this is you, you may need support to find the truth and address the issue.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#executivecoaching
#boundaries
#regulation
#distraction
#uncomfortabletruth
#feelbetterlivebetter

Trust is essential with any coach or practitioner you work with. But so is quality.

A good coach will invest lots of time and money behind the scenes to make sure their time with you is of the highest quality.

For me, this comprises -

Thousands of £s certified training
Regular supervision
Peer learning meetings
Offering pro bono 1:1 sessions/courses/consessions to community or those in need
Ringfenced time to prepare and follow up from sessions
Post session reflective learning
CPD workshops
Professional association fees
Insurance
Thousands of hours of experience (confession - I stopped counting at 3500 hours!)

Not to mention admin work, free consultations, visibility on the socials, high speed broadband, and the many cups of tea required to support what I do.

My work is a privileged, purposeful labour of love ❤️

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#qualityassurance
#purpose
#noshortcuts
#smallbusiness

Trust is essential with any coach or practitioner you work with. But so is quality.

A good coach will invest lots of time and money behind the scenes to make sure their time with you is of the highest quality.

For me, this comprises -

Thousands of £s certified training
Regular supervision
Peer learning meetings
Offering pro bono 1:1 sessions/courses/consessions to community or those in need
Ringfenced time to prepare and follow up from sessions
Post session reflective learning
CPD workshops
Professional association fees
Insurance
Thousands of hours of experience (confession - I stopped counting at 3500 hours!)

Not to mention admin work, free consultations, visibility on the socials, high speed broadband, and the many cups of tea required to support what I do.

My work is a privileged, purposeful labour of love ❤️

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#qualityassurance
#purpose
#noshortcuts
#smallbusiness

Unexpected outcomes following recent Somatic EMDR sessions.. These are results that the individuals did not expect to be resolved, but the body knew best!

- a perspective on an issue was transformed
- calmness and presence became much easier
- no longer waking to aches and pains
- chronic dehydration resolved by suddenly wanting to drink lots of water

In these sessions, the cognitive mind is dialled down, the body and the nervous system are in the spotlight.

Our natural drive to heal can get on and clear what is blocking us even when the mind is not aware.

My website has Somatic EMDR videos and testimonials - https://www.effectivethoughts.co.uk/trauma-release-coaching-package.
Plus check out the FAQs -
https://www.effectivethoughts.co.uk/faqs

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#bodyknowledge
#nervoussystem
#innerwisdom

Unexpected outcomes following recent Somatic EMDR sessions.. These are results that the individuals did not expect to be resolved, but the body knew best!

- a perspective on an issue was transformed
- calmness and presence became much easier
- no longer waking to aches and pains
- chronic dehydration resolved by suddenly wanting to drink lots of water

In these sessions, the cognitive mind is dialled down, the body and the nervous system are in the spotlight.

Our natural drive to heal can get on and clear what is blocking us even when the mind is not aware.

My website has Somatic EMDR videos and testimonials - https://www.effectivethoughts.co.uk/trauma-release-coaching-package.
Plus check out the FAQs -
https://www.effectivethoughts.co.uk/faqs

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#bodyknowledge
#nervoussystem
#innerwisdom

You'll find a big repository of my video tips on YouTube - @CaraHooperCoach

You'll find a big repository of my video tips on YouTube - @CaraHooperCoach

Is it a focus issue or an unrealistic expectation?

The senior executive in today's coaching session expressed frustration and even self criticism at his focus levels. This is understandable and comes up a lot in coaching.

Upon exploration it was clear that he had unrealistic expectations -
> Expectation no.1 - he could attend multiple back to back meetings with no processing time between them. > Reality - the brain needs consolidation, preparation, and reflection time.

> Expectation no.2 - he would remember all key points and actions without recording them. > Reality - our working memory is a transient, finite resource for immediate thinking. Like a whiteboard. It cannot be expected to retain vast amounts of data.

There may be other factors too, but replacing the behaviour behind these 2 expectations will certainly positively impact focus levels.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#executivecoaching
#focus
#workingmemory
#banbacktobackmeetings

Is it a focus issue or an unrealistic expectation?

The senior executive in today's coaching session expressed frustration and even self criticism at his focus levels. This is understandable and comes up a lot in coaching.

Upon exploration it was clear that he had unrealistic expectations -
> Expectation no.1 - he could attend multiple back to back meetings with no processing time between them. > Reality - the brain needs consolidation, preparation, and reflection time.

> Expectation no.2 - he would remember all key points and actions without recording them. > Reality - our working memory is a transient, finite resource for immediate thinking. Like a whiteboard. It cannot be expected to retain vast amounts of data.

There may be other factors too, but replacing the behaviour behind these 2 expectations will certainly positively impact focus levels.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#executivecoaching
#focus
#workingmemory
#banbacktobackmeetings

Booking for April & May now. You can grab your place (if you're quick) by messaging me or using the link on my website.

https://www.effectivethoughts.co.uk/book-online

Supportive group coaching for those recovering from emotionally unavailable or narcissistic loved ones.

Limited spaces.
90 minutes. Only £15!! Deliberately cheap for accessibility.
DM to ask questions/book.

📒 Booking 28/04, 19/05 now via DM or website. 6.30pm - 8pm. Book 1 or attend them all. A main theme will vary each session, all potential themes will be adapted according to group need.

Overview - An interactive coaching group discussing healing from loved ones that are emotionally unavailable or narcissistic. Often, people struggle to accept the truth of these types of relationships. Confusion and self-doubt can keep us stuck, block the messages from our nervous systems, and slow healing. The aims of the group session, alongside supportive validation, will be to de-mystify some of the complexities and confusion of the relationship itself and of recovery.

The group will be online. All attendees will need to commit to some interaction on camera and to maintaining confidentiality. These small groups will focus on safety. We will pause and check in often to prevent overwhelm.

As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard to meet the needs of the group. As well as my professional experience and training, I have personal childhood trauma recovery experience to bring.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#recovery
#toxicrelationship
#peersupport

Booking for April & May now. You can grab your place (if you're quick) by messaging me or using the link on my website.

https://www.effectivethoughts.co.uk/book-online

Supportive group coaching for those recovering from emotionally unavailable or narcissistic loved ones.

Limited spaces.
90 minutes. Only £15!! Deliberately cheap for accessibility.
DM to ask questions/book.

📒 Booking 28/04, 19/05 now via DM or website. 6.30pm - 8pm. Book 1 or attend them all. A main theme will vary each session, all potential themes will be adapted according to group need.

Overview - An interactive coaching group discussing healing from loved ones that are emotionally unavailable or narcissistic. Often, people struggle to accept the truth of these types of relationships. Confusion and self-doubt can keep us stuck, block the messages from our nervous systems, and slow healing. The aims of the group session, alongside supportive validation, will be to de-mystify some of the complexities and confusion of the relationship itself and of recovery.

The group will be online. All attendees will need to commit to some interaction on camera and to maintaining confidentiality. These small groups will focus on safety. We will pause and check in often to prevent overwhelm.

As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard to meet the needs of the group. As well as my professional experience and training, I have personal childhood trauma recovery experience to bring.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#recovery
#toxicrelationship
#peersupport

Deb Dana describes how the opposite of a 'trigger' is a 'glimmer'. Those tiny seconds/moments when you feel at peace. They are more than happiness or joy, they are SAFETY.

We can grow the safety state of our nervous system by reinforcing to ourselves what safety feels like.

My glimmer this moment is a big one, a huge glimmer - the combination of purposeful work (planning for next week's group coaching for Women in Leadership), safety, sunshine and birdsong.

How can you work on noticing your glimmers?

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#glimmers
#nervoussystem
#gratitude
#learning
#windowoftolerance

Deb Dana describes how the opposite of a 'trigger' is a 'glimmer'. Those tiny seconds/moments when you feel at peace. They are more than happiness or joy, they are SAFETY.

We can grow the safety state of our nervous system by reinforcing to ourselves what safety feels like.

My glimmer this moment is a big one, a huge glimmer - the combination of purposeful work (planning for next week's group coaching for Women in Leadership), safety, sunshine and birdsong.

How can you work on noticing your glimmers?

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#glimmers
#nervoussystem
#gratitude
#learning
#windowoftolerance

Feeling guilty or 'lazy' for resting is often a sign of nervous system dysregulation. Many of us feel activated into mobilisation when we stop.

Resting is still productive. We are allowing changes and healing to integrate. We are consolidating learning. We are restoring physically.

We can practise rest by...
- intentionally stopping
- acknowledging the discomfort in our bodies
- gently moving/breathing/regulating through it
- reassuring ourselves it is safe to pause

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#hyperarousal
#nervoussystem
#rest

Feeling guilty or 'lazy' for resting is often a sign of nervous system dysregulation. Many of us feel activated into mobilisation when we stop.

Resting is still productive. We are allowing changes and healing to integrate. We are consolidating learning. We are restoring physically.

We can practise rest by...
- intentionally stopping
- acknowledging the discomfort in our bodies
- gently moving/breathing/regulating through it
- reassuring ourselves it is safe to pause

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#hyperarousal
#nervoussystem
#rest

When it comes to regulating the nervous system, dogs have got the skills.

The gold standard to bring us back to regulation is to notice our body, our sensations, acknowledge them with compassion, and then regulate by returning to the body (whether through breath, mindfulness, movement).

Dogs shake, stretch, and yawn regularly, especially at every transition. They do this to regulate themselves, and prepare themselves for what might come next. This is bodily wisdom!

+ They rest a lot too. And focus on good food. They also take nothing personally!

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#nervoussystem
#dogs
#learning

When it comes to regulating the nervous system, dogs have got the skills.

The gold standard to bring us back to regulation is to notice our body, our sensations, acknowledge them with compassion, and then regulate by returning to the body (whether through breath, mindfulness, movement).

Dogs shake, stretch, and yawn regularly, especially at every transition. They do this to regulate themselves, and prepare themselves for what might come next. This is bodily wisdom!

+ They rest a lot too. And focus on good food. They also take nothing personally!

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#nervoussystem
#dogs
#learning

"Story follows state" is a concept covered by Deb Dana discussing Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory.

It suggests that our autonomic nervous system's state, if unchecked, will likely influence the stories we tell ourselves and how we perceive the world.

When we are in Hyper-arousal (sympathetic; fight/flight/fawn) we can perceive that everything is urgent. We need to rush. We may be irritated by slow seeming people. We might be freaked out by our growing to-do list.

When we are in Hypo-arousal (dorsal vagal; freeze/flop) we might perceive that there is no point trying. That we don’t know where to start. We might feel despondent and stuck.

Our dysregulated nervous system state is perpetuating, if ignored.

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#polyvagal
#nervoussystem
#selffulfillingprophecy
#stories

"Story follows state" is a concept covered by Deb Dana discussing Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory.

It suggests that our autonomic nervous system's state, if unchecked, will likely influence the stories we tell ourselves and how we perceive the world.

When we are in Hyper-arousal (sympathetic; fight/flight/fawn) we can perceive that everything is urgent. We need to rush. We may be irritated by slow seeming people. We might be freaked out by our growing to-do list.

When we are in Hypo-arousal (dorsal vagal; freeze/flop) we might perceive that there is no point trying. That we don’t know where to start. We might feel despondent and stuck.

Our dysregulated nervous system state is perpetuating, if ignored.

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#polyvagal
#nervoussystem
#selffulfillingprophecy
#stories

With self trust we lean towards curiosity and creativity, and away from anxiety.

SELF TRUST enhances the belief that we can deal with adversity. We do need to remember that we can only access our curiosity and creativity when our nervous system is regulated.

Steps to repeat -
> Pause and acknowledge the anxiety of uncertainty.
> Regulate nervous system (e.g., become aware of body, breathe, move, shake, write)
> Ask exploration questions such as- What's the worst that could happen? What would my options then be? What would I like to happen? What would I advise a friend in this position?

Or, book in with a coach!

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#clarity
#mindset
#nervoussystem
#creativity

With self trust we lean towards curiosity and creativity, and away from anxiety.

SELF TRUST enhances the belief that we can deal with adversity. We do need to remember that we can only access our curiosity and creativity when our nervous system is regulated.

Steps to repeat -
> Pause and acknowledge the anxiety of uncertainty.
> Regulate nervous system (e.g., become aware of body, breathe, move, shake, write)
> Ask exploration questions such as- What's the worst that could happen? What would my options then be? What would I like to happen? What would I advise a friend in this position?

Or, book in with a coach!

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#clarity
#mindset
#nervoussystem
#creativity

I am just finishing up a new course on Overwhelm & Your Nervous System. I LOVE being creative, designing, and writing, so this has been a passion project..

I am due to unleash it to the #Mword at @davidlloydworthing with @sarahgreen_pt this Friday.

If you need a Leadership, Life & Trauma Coach to speak at your events, please get in touch. I really could talk about these topics all day!

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#speakingevents
#menopause
#traumarecovery
#dysregulation
#regulation
#learning
#course

I am just finishing up a new course on Overwhelm & Your Nervous System. I LOVE being creative, designing, and writing, so this has been a passion project..

I am due to unleash it to the #Mword at @davidlloydworthing with @sarahgreen_pt this Friday.

If you need a Leadership, Life & Trauma Coach to speak at your events, please get in touch. I really could talk about these topics all day!

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#speakingevents
#menopause
#traumarecovery
#dysregulation
#regulation
#learning
#course

Do you struggle to make the 'right' decision?

What if all options are 'right'?

Overthinking it can cause us to stay stuck and gives no guarantee of the best outcome.

Every change is often accompanied by doses of uncertainty, the need for adjustments to the plan, anxiety, and oftentimes a level of grief.

Letting ourselves proceed with any option will lead us closer to where we want to go.

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#clarity
#decisionmaking
#justdoit
#options

Do you struggle to make the 'right' decision?

What if all options are 'right'?

Overthinking it can cause us to stay stuck and gives no guarantee of the best outcome.

Every change is often accompanied by doses of uncertainty, the need for adjustments to the plan, anxiety, and oftentimes a level of grief.

Letting ourselves proceed with any option will lead us closer to where we want to go.

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#clarity
#decisionmaking
#justdoit
#options

Made my day... feedback of the week!

"You are an amazing coach who balances allowing me to find my own answers within but supporting me with curiosity, empathy, and resources.

I appreciate you introducing practical ways I can support my growth."

HM, Senior HR Director

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#seniorleadership
#professionaldevelopment
#personaldevelopment
#feedback

Made my day... feedback of the week!

"You are an amazing coach who balances allowing me to find my own answers within but supporting me with curiosity, empathy, and resources.

I appreciate you introducing practical ways I can support my growth."

HM, Senior HR Director

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#seniorleadership
#professionaldevelopment
#personaldevelopment
#feedback

What does feeling triggered mean?

Being triggered is a survival response in our nervous system, creating a physiological response. It is pre-cognitive.

Our unresolved, overwhelming emotions (and those of our heritage) are our triggers. They often do not seem rational.

We can regulate our nervous systems and reassure ourselves to cope with triggers, but healing/resolving them can take more work. We often need to safely explore the somatic/physical sensations to resolve the trigger. We cannot think our way to nervous system healing.

If you would like to discuss, please book a free consultation.
www.effectivethoughts.co.uk/book-online

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#trauma
#emotions
#somatic
#emdr

What does feeling triggered mean?

Being triggered is a survival response in our nervous system, creating a physiological response. It is pre-cognitive.

Our unresolved, overwhelming emotions (and those of our heritage) are our triggers. They often do not seem rational.

We can regulate our nervous systems and reassure ourselves to cope with triggers, but healing/resolving them can take more work. We often need to safely explore the somatic/physical sensations to resolve the trigger. We cannot think our way to nervous system healing.

If you would like to discuss, please book a free consultation.
www.effectivethoughts.co.uk/book-online

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#trauma
#emotions
#somatic
#emdr

Vulberability is a learned skill. It takes conscious intention and self compassion to be brave through discomfort.

I used to hide as much as I could. I have a history of internalised shame due to CPTSD that I used to mask. Pictures and videos of me still make me cringe a bit, just less so than they used to.

Now, I have acceptance of that cringe response. I acknowledge it, and it passes.

I value the connection I get through social media, which necessitates me to be on camera. I have reaped the benefits of challenging myself, of healing, and of learning self compassion.

It sounds cheesy, but we can all learn to love all aspects of ourselves. Doing so gives us peace and self trust. It takes intention, insight, awareness, nervous system focus, somatic awareness, and authenticity. If I can do it, you can too.

You may need a guide on the side during your healing. If this is you then please reach out for a free consultation.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#selfconfidence
#healing
#somatic
#emdr
#mindset

Vulberability is a learned skill. It takes conscious intention and self compassion to be brave through discomfort.

I used to hide as much as I could. I have a history of internalised shame due to CPTSD that I used to mask. Pictures and videos of me still make me cringe a bit, just less so than they used to.

Now, I have acceptance of that cringe response. I acknowledge it, and it passes.

I value the connection I get through social media, which necessitates me to be on camera. I have reaped the benefits of challenging myself, of healing, and of learning self compassion.

It sounds cheesy, but we can all learn to love all aspects of ourselves. Doing so gives us peace and self trust. It takes intention, insight, awareness, nervous system focus, somatic awareness, and authenticity. If I can do it, you can too.

You may need a guide on the side during your healing. If this is you then please reach out for a free consultation.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#selfconfidence
#healing
#somatic
#emdr
#mindset

Uncertainty can leave us stuck and anxious. The anxiety is exacerbated by catastrophising and having no sense of control.

The "I can't.." or "This will be a disaster" fears can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The antidote to uncertainty is SELF TRUST and the belief that we can deal with adversity. We do need to remember that we can only access our curiosity and creativity when regulated.

> Pause and acknowledge the anxiety of uncertainty.
> Regulate nervous system (e.g., become aware of body, breathe, move, shake, write)
> Ask exploration questions such as- What's the worst that could happen? What would my options then be? What would I like to happen? What would I advise a friend in this position?

Or, book in with a coach!

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#clarity
#mindset
#nervoussystem
#creativity

Uncertainty can leave us stuck and anxious. The anxiety is exacerbated by catastrophising and having no sense of control.

The "I can't.." or "This will be a disaster" fears can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The antidote to uncertainty is SELF TRUST and the belief that we can deal with adversity. We do need to remember that we can only access our curiosity and creativity when regulated.

> Pause and acknowledge the anxiety of uncertainty.
> Regulate nervous system (e.g., become aware of body, breathe, move, shake, write)
> Ask exploration questions such as- What's the worst that could happen? What would my options then be? What would I like to happen? What would I advise a friend in this position?

Or, book in with a coach!

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#clarity
#mindset
#nervoussystem
#creativity

Improvement from depression- from 'Cracked - why psychiatry is doing more harm then good' - James Davies

Professor Kirsch's meta-analysis results took his team by surprise. The placebo group recovered nearly as well as the drug group.

Our beliefs matter.

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#powerofthemind
#healourselves
#innerbeliefs

Improvement from depression- from 'Cracked - why psychiatry is doing more harm then good' - James Davies

Professor Kirsch's meta-analysis results took his team by surprise. The placebo group recovered nearly as well as the drug group.

Our beliefs matter.

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#powerofthemind
#healourselves
#innerbeliefs

“Remember, you’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” —Louise L. Hay

Being self-critical keeps us stuck and dysregulated.

Self compassion builds self trust, growth mindset and allows us to face the uncomfortable with more resilience.

In order to break the self critical habit, you need to:-
> consciously check in
> acknowledge what you are feeling (without judgement)
> regulate by returning attention to your body and moving or calming
> reassure yourself as you would a best friend

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#selfcare
#innerbff
#motivation
#selfcompassion
#regulate

“Remember, you’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” —Louise L. Hay

Being self-critical keeps us stuck and dysregulated.

Self compassion builds self trust, growth mindset and allows us to face the uncomfortable with more resilience.

In order to break the self critical habit, you need to:-
> consciously check in
> acknowledge what you are feeling (without judgement)
> regulate by returning attention to your body and moving or calming
> reassure yourself as you would a best friend

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#selfcare
#innerbff
#motivation
#selfcompassion
#regulate

Some people will put their reputation before reparation.

They would rather be seen as right than address the harm they cause.

Radical acceptance of the truth will help us to start to heal.

Simple, but not easy.

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#toxicrelationships
#recovery

Some people will put their reputation before reparation.

They would rather be seen as right than address the harm they cause.

Radical acceptance of the truth will help us to start to heal.

Simple, but not easy.

#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#toxicrelationships
#recovery

Reminder* Booking now - Supportive group coaching for those recovering from emotionally unavailable or narcissistic loved ones.

Limited spaces.
90 minutes. Only £15!! Deliberately cheap for accessibility.
DM to ask questions/book.

📒 Booking 28/04, 19/05 now via DM or website. 6.30pm - 8pm. Book 1 or attend them all. A main theme will vary each session, all potential themes will be adapted according to group need.

Overview - An interactive coaching group discussing healing from loved ones that are emotionally unavailable or narcissistic. Often, people struggle to accept the truth of these types of relationships. Confusion and self-doubt can keep us stuck, block the messages from our nervous systems, and slow healing. The aims of the group session, alongside supportive validation, will be to de-mystify some of the complexities and confusion of the relationship itself and of recovery.

The group will be online. All attendees will need to commit to some interaction on camera and to maintaining confidentiality. These small groups will focus on safety. We will pause and check in often to prevent overwhelm.

As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard to meet the needs of the group. As well as my professional experience and training, I have personal childhood trauma recovery experience to bring.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#recovery
#toxicrelationship
#peersupport

Reminder* Booking now - Supportive group coaching for those recovering from emotionally unavailable or narcissistic loved ones.

Limited spaces.
90 minutes. Only £15!! Deliberately cheap for accessibility.
DM to ask questions/book.

📒 Booking 28/04, 19/05 now via DM or website. 6.30pm - 8pm. Book 1 or attend them all. A main theme will vary each session, all potential themes will be adapted according to group need.

Overview - An interactive coaching group discussing healing from loved ones that are emotionally unavailable or narcissistic. Often, people struggle to accept the truth of these types of relationships. Confusion and self-doubt can keep us stuck, block the messages from our nervous systems, and slow healing. The aims of the group session, alongside supportive validation, will be to de-mystify some of the complexities and confusion of the relationship itself and of recovery.

The group will be online. All attendees will need to commit to some interaction on camera and to maintaining confidentiality. These small groups will focus on safety. We will pause and check in often to prevent overwhelm.

As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard to meet the needs of the group. As well as my professional experience and training, I have personal childhood trauma recovery experience to bring.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#recovery
#toxicrelationship
#peersupport

Having sleep struggles? It might be worth trying a 'brain dump' before bed.

> The action is to write out any thoughts, stressors or struggles onto paper whether as a stream of consciousness, a list, or a mind map. You could also separately note anything to do or remember the next day.

> The aim is to process your thoughts, so your brain doesn't process it so much overnight. The processing will release the feelings by mobilising the stress hormones that can hamper sleep.

Often people are put off by their expectations about journaling or writing. So, drop expectations, treat it as an experiment, and remember there is no right or wrong when it comes to brain dumping.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#sleeplessness
#writingitout
#selfhelp

Having sleep struggles? It might be worth trying a 'brain dump' before bed.

> The action is to write out any thoughts, stressors or struggles onto paper whether as a stream of consciousness, a list, or a mind map. You could also separately note anything to do or remember the next day.

> The aim is to process your thoughts, so your brain doesn't process it so much overnight. The processing will release the feelings by mobilising the stress hormones that can hamper sleep.

Often people are put off by their expectations about journaling or writing. So, drop expectations, treat it as an experiment, and remember there is no right or wrong when it comes to brain dumping.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#sleeplessness
#writingitout
#selfhelp

A healthy stress response requires us to feel our feelings. But how do we do that? *Feeling* is not something many of us learn, so it can take intention and practise.

NOTICE
Acknowledge/name the feeling
Notice how it feels in the body
No judgement - Allow and validate it

REGULATE
- Move it - shake, stretch, walk, write, sing, speak, breathe
- Calm it - breathe, soothe, ground
The aim is to return to your body and notice that it is safe in this moment

BE PATIENT
- It takes time, you may need several repetitions
- Once you have reset you can explore... Ask: what is this feeling trying to teach me?

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#stressresponse
#feelyourfeelings
#nervoussystem

A healthy stress response requires us to feel our feelings. But how do we do that? *Feeling* is not something many of us learn, so it can take intention and practise.

NOTICE
Acknowledge/name the feeling
Notice how it feels in the body
No judgement - Allow and validate it

REGULATE
- Move it - shake, stretch, walk, write, sing, speak, breathe
- Calm it - breathe, soothe, ground
The aim is to return to your body and notice that it is safe in this moment

BE PATIENT
- It takes time, you may need several repetitions
- Once you have reset you can explore... Ask: what is this feeling trying to teach me?

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#stressresponse
#feelyourfeelings
#nervoussystem

We cannot 'self care', 'rationalise' or 'regulate' ourselves as a way to avoid facing the core issue.

Change is necessary, however hard, when there are -

Misaligned values
Unmet needs
Toxic relationship

The truth might be uncomfortable, but it cannot be denied (in a healthy way). A useful question might be to ask self "what happens if nothing changes, what will that be like in 6 months/1 year/5 years time?"

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#uncomfortabletruth
#authentic
#selfdevelopment
#needs
#values
#trueself

We cannot 'self care', 'rationalise' or 'regulate' ourselves as a way to avoid facing the core issue.

Change is necessary, however hard, when there are -

Misaligned values
Unmet needs
Toxic relationship

The truth might be uncomfortable, but it cannot be denied (in a healthy way). A useful question might be to ask self "what happens if nothing changes, what will that be like in 6 months/1 year/5 years time?"

#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#uncomfortabletruth
#authentic
#selfdevelopment
#needs
#values
#trueself

March bookings closed now! Still have availability in April and May - if you're quick!

Booking now - Supportive group coaching for those recovering from emotionally unavailable or narcissistic loved ones.

Limited spaces.
90 minutes. Only £15.
DM to ask questions/book.

📒 Booking 28/04, 19/05 now via DM or website. 6.30pm - 8pm. Book 1 or attend them all. A main theme will vary each session, all potential themes will be adapted according to group need.

Overview - An interactive coaching group discussing healing from loved ones that are emotionally unavailable or narcissistic. Often, people struggle to accept the truth of these types of relationships. Confusion and self-doubt can keep us stuck, block the messages from our nervous systems, and slow healing. The aims of the group session, alongside supportive validation, will be to de-mystify some of the complexities and confusion of the relationship itself and of recovery.

The group will be online. All attendees will need to commit to some interaction on camera and to maintaining confidentiality. These small groups will focus on safety. We will pause and check in often to prevent overwhelm.

As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard to meet the needs of the group. As well as my professional experience and training, I have personal childhood trauma recovery experience to bring.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#recovery
#toxicrelationship
#peersupport

March bookings closed now! Still have availability in April and May - if you're quick!

Booking now - Supportive group coaching for those recovering from emotionally unavailable or narcissistic loved ones.

Limited spaces.
90 minutes. Only £15.
DM to ask questions/book.

📒 Booking 28/04, 19/05 now via DM or website. 6.30pm - 8pm. Book 1 or attend them all. A main theme will vary each session, all potential themes will be adapted according to group need.

Overview - An interactive coaching group discussing healing from loved ones that are emotionally unavailable or narcissistic. Often, people struggle to accept the truth of these types of relationships. Confusion and self-doubt can keep us stuck, block the messages from our nervous systems, and slow healing. The aims of the group session, alongside supportive validation, will be to de-mystify some of the complexities and confusion of the relationship itself and of recovery.

The group will be online. All attendees will need to commit to some interaction on camera and to maintaining confidentiality. These small groups will focus on safety. We will pause and check in often to prevent overwhelm.

As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard to meet the needs of the group. As well as my professional experience and training, I have personal childhood trauma recovery experience to bring.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#recovery
#toxicrelationship
#peersupport

Public service announcement- I do not work from the toilet!

The alcove where I have my workstation has been mistaken for a toilet a few times now, I am here to set the record straight.

My views on toilet working is that it is highly unethical and unprofessional. I will never multi task when I should be listening deeply!

Funny though... And yes, there is a wooden rocking horse behind my desk. Doesn't everyone have one?

Public service announcement- I do not work from the toilet!

The alcove where I have my workstation has been mistaken for a toilet a few times now, I am here to set the record straight.

My views on toilet working is that it is highly unethical and unprofessional. I will never multi task when I should be listening deeply!

Funny though... And yes, there is a wooden rocking horse behind my desk. Doesn't everyone have one?

Reminder* Booking now - Supportive group coaching for those recovering from emotionally unavailable or narcissistic loved ones.

Limited spaces.
90 minutes. Only £15.
DM to ask questions/book.

📒 Booking 24/03, 28/04, 19/05 now via DM or website. 6.30pm - 8pm. Book 1 or attend them all. A main theme will vary each session, all potential themes will be adapted according to group need.

Overview - An interactive coaching group discussing healing from loved ones that are emotionally unavailable or narcissistic. Often, people struggle to accept the truth of these types of relationships. Confusion and self-doubt can keep us stuck, block the messages from our nervous systems, and slow healing. The aims of the group session, alongside supportive validation, will be to de-mystify some of the complexities and confusion of the relationship itself and of recovery.

The group will be online. All attendees will need to commit to some interaction on camera and to maintaining confidentiality. These small groups will focus on safety. We will pause and check in often to prevent overwhelm.

As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard to meet the needs of the group. As well as my professional experience and training, I have personal childhood trauma recovery experience to bring.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#recovery
#toxicrelationship
#peersupport

Reminder* Booking now - Supportive group coaching for those recovering from emotionally unavailable or narcissistic loved ones.

Limited spaces.
90 minutes. Only £15.
DM to ask questions/book.

📒 Booking 24/03, 28/04, 19/05 now via DM or website. 6.30pm - 8pm. Book 1 or attend them all. A main theme will vary each session, all potential themes will be adapted according to group need.

Overview - An interactive coaching group discussing healing from loved ones that are emotionally unavailable or narcissistic. Often, people struggle to accept the truth of these types of relationships. Confusion and self-doubt can keep us stuck, block the messages from our nervous systems, and slow healing. The aims of the group session, alongside supportive validation, will be to de-mystify some of the complexities and confusion of the relationship itself and of recovery.

The group will be online. All attendees will need to commit to some interaction on camera and to maintaining confidentiality. These small groups will focus on safety. We will pause and check in often to prevent overwhelm.

As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard to meet the needs of the group. As well as my professional experience and training, I have personal childhood trauma recovery experience to bring.

#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#recovery
#toxicrelationship
#peersupport

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